The Famous "Commander in Chief Test"

Does anyone get that fairly obscure political reference I just made in the title? No?

OK, so this was during the short week of Presidents' Day. I get on the noon bus, fully expecting to encounter a crazy crackhead raptor or something. Instead, I get one of the coolest bus rides ever.

The driver, seen below, quizzed us on Presidential trivia. One question dealt with Washington and the political positions he held before being our first President. The other question was about a quote Lincoln gave about justice and mercy.

The driver even gave us a chance to yell out the answers. I nearly answered the first question right, and someone else got the Lincoln question pretty fast.

Overall, very cool bus ride. The driver had an awesome moustache (old school spelling), and a pimp hat to match. It had a playing card tucked in the brim, a Joker I believe.



That's the 358 for you, full of surprises.

I'm Not Always Heartless...

but I didn't give her money: February 18th.

So this isn't really a snarky post. I mean, clearly she's homeless. She smells kinda like old shoe leather that's gotten a bit moldy. I know this because she frequently sits next to me. Also, she's crazy. One day, she was talking into a portable radio like it was a cell phone.

But a while back, I read a story in the paper here about a homeless lady. The article talked about this woman sitting in the cold, refusing to come in or accept any help. It was pretty sad. I think the woman in that article is this lady.

Just keepin' it real. It has got to suck to be homeless.

Oh, that's her "cell phone" in her right hand.

Nothing Special

This was February 17th. Just some homeless guy using my seat. As his footrest.

At least he's reading something.

As a result, I had to cram in next to some really sweaty fat guy. All in all, not a bad day on the 358.

Boy, he sure looks comfy.

Just a Taste

So when I ride the bus, I try to grab this one specific seat every time. The 358 is an articulated bus configured as such: a front half of the bus that has seats arranged in a way you'd expect, a rotating center that pivots and seats four, and then a back half with seats and its own door. Near the front of the back half, if that makes any sense, is a single seat all to itself. It faces sideways rather than forward, so you get a good view of everything going on in the back. See my attached diagram, it's the seat in red. I have dubbed this "The Jump Seat." It has many advantages, namely that because it's a single, I never have to sit next to a smelly-ass crackhead. Plus, it's got a great view of the circus.

So this picture is from Thursday night. This woman and her crackhead boyfriend sat right beside me (I'm in the jump seat). She was munching on McDonald's, getting the crumbs caught in her ample facial hair. Seriously, she has a better goatee than I do. The picture doesn't quite catch the soul patch, mostly because the hair was as ghostly white as her face, which hadn't been out of her crack den to see the light of day for a while.

There were some loud idiots in the back ranting about some crazy shit, and this lady has the audacity to snicker at them. Like, "hehehe, hey Brian, you and me are so different than those crazy people. Clearly, we are cut from the same cloth." Sorry to break it to you, but obese lady with a goatee, you get lumped in with the rest of 'em.

Wherefore art thou a judgemental asshole?

So here's the story: I started working in downtown Seattle back in November 2008. It just so happens that my wife and I live in a fairly ghetto part of town. Scratch that, a transitory ghetto part of town. I'd say it's in the process of being gentrified, but that's probably a little too generous.

For those readers familiar with Seattle, I live a block off 85th and Aurora. As Seattle is neighborhood-based, we live in JOA (Just Off Aurora). It's not Greenwood, it's not Greenlake, it's not Maple Leaf, it's not Northgate. It's all these neighborhoods, none of these neighborhoods, and so much more.

The bus line that services Highway 99 (aka Aurora Avenue) is the 358. It used to be called the 359, until a rider SHOT AND KILLED the driver, then himself, and then the bus careened off the side of a bridge, killing two more passengers. They changed the route number to 358 because really, who would ride the 359 after something like that?

"What bus do you ride home?"
"The 358."
"Isn't that the one where the driver was shot, and the bus crashed off the side of a bridge?"
"Nope, that was the 359. The 358 is totally different."

Just read this Yelp review of the 358 (Seriously, there are bus route reviews on Yelp? That's odd.)

So, dear readers who aren't yet reading, sit back and enjoy. My daily rides on the 358 are so crazy, I felt compelled to share them with you all. These posts will be "hater-ish" in nature, so I apologize in advance. I will try to post pictures from the front lines when I can, but some of these dispatches will be sans photographic evidence.

Lastly, I don't want my readers to think that I hate the 358. In fact, I kinda love it. I hope you will come to love it, too.